Bad things that happened to me these days

Inspired from my friend's "On the Downside of The Wheel" , I'm going to write some of bad things that happened to me these days.

The first is, I couldn't help blaming myself for being such a stupido for getting 5 subjects under KKM or whatsoever the name is. while actually they were SO DAMN CLOSE to 75, the standard score for each subjects. So I could say that my scores weren't THAT bad. Like, 1 subject was scored 74, the other is 70, and the others were around 60s. But i still feel bad about me failing the mid-test and etc.

I got a perfect score in English which made me happy, though my grammar is often wrong and i want to be like my friend, Virta, who writes with a perfect grammar. At least she does better than I do. *sobs*

The second one was rejecting an English competition (fyi, i don't like English. I LOVE IT) held by Binus in Jakarta. I actually didn't regret this much, but I lost my opportunity to represent my school in that competition. It's because the fees, they're just too pricey for me. While my mum wants me to go for AFS and she wants to save the money for that, in case if I'll be sent to study abroad.

Also, I feel like I couldn't compete with the other kids from another countries in south-east asia. It's because all of them speaks English more fluently than I do. Even almost every private schools in Jakarta are International schools and they speak English like, everyday. I'm not saying that I'm afraid to lose or I don't want to try my best, but knowing that this is going to be out of my reach, so I prefer rejecting it than wasting my money for something useless. No offense, but I've got feeling for this, and I'm following what my heart says right now. I should do the right thing for myself, shouldn't I? :)

The third one, I feel extremely moooooody today. I'm annoyed by the fact that I couldn't do things right when it comes to Maths or Physics, but then in the next minute I was happy for understanding the lessons, (and when i can't do the test, I'd be desperate again). And someone stubborn was trying to convince my friend to not doing something in an annoying way. Me, when I heard him, i felt like I want to throw him with 586324793857683687483285874957832 tons of bricks and kick his ass out from this town and go throw him in a place where he can do anything he wants to without making people annoyed. Ugh! :(

Idk why but I feel mixed feelings these days. one time I'd be happy, the next time I'd feel sad, and then I'd feel fall in love to someone unknown for no reason, dreaming the it-boy and the future and another cheesy things and then I'd extremely brokenhearted and then feel sad again. I'm too moody, yes I realize it.

I'm hungry, and I should eat. I'm listening to Say by John Mayer as I write this. It's my favorite song for now :)

Okay bye go die, Audrey. Lol