do you ever feel like a plastic bag~ no I'm not going to sing that.
but seriously, do you ever feel like you're invisible, or feel like people use you for their own matters and after that just leave you because you're nothing more than a piece of shit?
well, I do sometimes. In fact, it is happening now.
At first I felt that practically everyone was keeping their distance. They shared secrets, talked about the rumors, and i had a hunch that they were actually talking about me. i know that even if it wasn't about me, it was still none of my business. I was curious, so curious that sometimes my curiosity annoyed them. And still, i felt like i was being left out by the others.
What did I do? what was the thing that irritated them?
No matter what their problems are, I'm going to say sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I annoyed you people. I'm sorry I did things that hurt you. I'm sorry I said some stupid things that made you want to punch me in the face, with a chair. I'm sorry if I wasn't up-to-date like you all. I'm sorry if I didn't do cool things like you, didn't read the books that you read, or watched Sam and Cat every afternoon instead of the cool movies you watched. I'm sorry if i was out of control about everything. I'm sorry if I was a dork. I'm sorry if I acted childish. I'm sorry I couldn't be the best.
I'm sorry if I too cared about what you said about me.
I'm sorry if I chose to be myself instead of the fake person like everyone did.
I'm sorry I can't be perfect.
But oh, I'm not going to sorry about that one.
I write what I think, and not everything I think is true. :)
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Friday, March 14, 2014
My Fav!! (For Now)
it's been awhile since i updated my favorite stuffs, especially songs. so as you know from the title above i've changed my must-listen songs (because i'm moody, yeah) and these are my fav songs for now:
(note that there are some indonesian songs)
1. Bastille - Pompeii
2. Pharell Williams - Happy
3. John Legend - All Of Me
4. Tulus - Sepatu
5. Raisa - Pemeran Utama
6. Tulus - Jangan Cintai Aku Apa Adanya
7. Tulus - Gajah
8. Christina Aguilera - Reflection
9. Katy Perry feat. Juicy J - Dark Horse
10. Sara Bareilles - King Of Anything
(although there are some old songs but they're all good.
And sorry if my taste in music is lamer than you think because it is what it is. :p)
oh and also i love to do these things in my leisure time:
1. checking Youtube and see if Bethany Mota uploads a new video. omg i always love her style and the way she talks and showing thingsssss that's why i suddenly wanna live in US and get all the stuffs like she did and i've always wanted to get one of her collection. the more the better, actually.
2. twittering. gosh it's like my all-time fav.
3. take a nap. still.
4. watching TV. I usually watch k-drama but since i found an extremely cute guy in a J-drama so now i start to watch it <3
5. EAT.
these are my favorite things, what's yours? :)
oh and also i love to do these things in my leisure time:
1. checking Youtube and see if Bethany Mota uploads a new video. omg i always love her style and the way she talks and showing thingsssss that's why i suddenly wanna live in US and get all the stuffs like she did and i've always wanted to get one of her collection. the more the better, actually.
2. twittering. gosh it's like my all-time fav.
3. take a nap. still.
4. watching TV. I usually watch k-drama but since i found an extremely cute guy in a J-drama so now i start to watch it <3
5. EAT.
these are my favorite things, what's yours? :)
#newsflash
i've heard so many bad news this month and i feel sorry for those who had lost their loved ones. :(
just this afternoon, i heard one of my classmate's father passed away. several weeks before, my friend's father also passed away. And my another friend's father died also. 3 fathers are already gone, may they rest in peace. :)
moral message: having a complete family is a blessing, so don't take it for granted, and respect your family before they're gone. one mistake and you'll regret everything :)
Sunday, February 16, 2014
D-1 To The Doomsday (for me)
i know, i know. it's D-1 until my departure to Jakarta and join AEO in Binus. i shouldn't have said doomsday actually, because i'm not experiencing some kind of mental breakdown now. but my friends do.
practically, almost all of my friends got mental breakdown. some of them cried (+because of the other personal matters that they had), and the others keep telling me "I can't do this". so, i often calm them down and encourage them that they can. but, can i tell you something more than that here?
Dear my fellow friends,
I know that everyone has their own desperate moments. but really, we haven't even started anything. We've only practiced here. so, don't be embarrassed with your ability to do this thing. nobody said that your performance is bad, isn't it? so don't be a pessimistic person. the jury are not dictators, so don't be afraid of them. Winning isn't the goal, but getting experience is. just do your best and don't give up, okay?
I know you can! so cheer up! ^^
-A (i want to make myself like 'A' in pretty little liars so yeah)
practically, almost all of my friends got mental breakdown. some of them cried (+because of the other personal matters that they had), and the others keep telling me "I can't do this". so, i often calm them down and encourage them that they can. but, can i tell you something more than that here?
Dear my fellow friends,
I know that everyone has their own desperate moments. but really, we haven't even started anything. We've only practiced here. so, don't be embarrassed with your ability to do this thing. nobody said that your performance is bad, isn't it? so don't be a pessimistic person. the jury are not dictators, so don't be afraid of them. Winning isn't the goal, but getting experience is. just do your best and don't give up, okay?
I know you can! so cheer up! ^^
-A (i want to make myself like 'A' in pretty little liars so yeah)
Friday, February 14, 2014
Valentine's Day?
well i actually didn't celebrate this thing but i used this moment to cherish the ones that i loooove so much!
I did bring chocolates today but I didn't get any from a guy, well it's because I'm not interested in guys and they don't interested in moi as well (haha), so i brought those for my friends :)) we had this chocolate swap and I got KitKat bars when actually I brought 2 mini cadburies hahahah but we ate it together in the end.
Well, once again I didn't celebrate valentine actually because 1) i don't have a boyfriend, I even have no crush, and 2) i think that we should love people everyday and not in just one day. but i use this moment to give my beloved friends chocolates and I'll get free chocolates (lol), so it's like take and give, actually.
why do I love chocolate? because, basically, i love sweets. and what's good about chocolate is that it can be your moodbooster. like seriously whenever you sad, just eat chocolate. and also, THEY'RE SO GOOD I CAN'T EVEN. Whenever i'm in a supermarket and pass the chocolate section and see Hershey's, Cadbury, Silverqueen, Snickers, M&Ms, Ritter Sport and etc., I'm always like "can u not" because they're all my guilty pleasure, ahhahah :)))
In this occasion, i'd like to thank people whom i love: Mum, thank you for carrying me and take care of me, i know i'll never pay all the things that you did to me, even you helped me with my History homework several hours ago, but i hope this would be enough to make you smile; Dad, thank you for being the coolest dad in this world and pay for all my supplies; my bro, thanks for being okay whenever i bully you, hahaha!; all of my friends, thanks for being by my side all the time, and share your laugh and tears with me; and the ex-es, i know this is not necessarily needed but thanks for giving me lessons so i could be better at falling hard for someone. <3
so in conclusion, even if today's almost over here in East Borneo, happy valentine (for those who celebrate it)!
i love you all! <3
P.S: the Kelud mt has erupted this morning. Pray for them and share your love by giving sympathy to them, and also the victims of Sinabung eruption.
oh btw here is a photo with my friend<3
I did bring chocolates today but I didn't get any from a guy, well it's because I'm not interested in guys and they don't interested in moi as well (haha), so i brought those for my friends :)) we had this chocolate swap and I got KitKat bars when actually I brought 2 mini cadburies hahahah but we ate it together in the end.
Well, once again I didn't celebrate valentine actually because 1) i don't have a boyfriend, I even have no crush, and 2) i think that we should love people everyday and not in just one day. but i use this moment to give my beloved friends chocolates and I'll get free chocolates (lol), so it's like take and give, actually.
why do I love chocolate? because, basically, i love sweets. and what's good about chocolate is that it can be your moodbooster. like seriously whenever you sad, just eat chocolate. and also, THEY'RE SO GOOD I CAN'T EVEN. Whenever i'm in a supermarket and pass the chocolate section and see Hershey's, Cadbury, Silverqueen, Snickers, M&Ms, Ritter Sport and etc., I'm always like "can u not" because they're all my guilty pleasure, ahhahah :)))
In this occasion, i'd like to thank people whom i love: Mum, thank you for carrying me and take care of me, i know i'll never pay all the things that you did to me, even you helped me with my History homework several hours ago, but i hope this would be enough to make you smile; Dad, thank you for being the coolest dad in this world and pay for all my supplies; my bro, thanks for being okay whenever i bully you, hahaha!; all of my friends, thanks for being by my side all the time, and share your laugh and tears with me; and the ex-es, i know this is not necessarily needed but thanks for giving me lessons so i could be better at falling hard for someone. <3
so in conclusion, even if today's almost over here in East Borneo, happy valentine (for those who celebrate it)!
i love you all! <3
P.S: the Kelud mt has erupted this morning. Pray for them and share your love by giving sympathy to them, and also the victims of Sinabung eruption.
oh btw here is a photo with my friend<3
Monday, February 10, 2014
02.10.14
yep. it's today. i had mixed feelings today.
i was happy because i met my friends, and chit-chat over things. and also beat my friend's argument in today's debate, even though i didn't win the debate but whatever. i felt like winning.
i was kinda disappointed because my dad wouldn't let me travel abroad by myself and the fact that i'm such a crybaby and still being my daddy's little girl and not having any courage to convince him that i can do things on my own. i felt touched when my uncle kinda support me and i cried my feelings out. Secretly. (Shit, i'm crying as i write this.)
and the last, i was mad because of certain things. the fact that people who were always nice to me secretly talked behind moi. i actually ok with that but it was kinda awkward to be with them. and also, my history teacher (again). he gave us - me! - a lot of assignment! mind map, another mind map, making some kind of flash cards, and then summaries. i just can't stand it anymore, like really. i swore a lot as i got home this afternoon, sorry about that sir.
and today's monday. so, it's 7 days to go until i fly to Jakarta to participate on Binus' 2014 AEO! exciting, huh? to all my fellow friends, especially the ones who join speech; be confident with your ability. you've practiced and tried your best, so i know you can do this thing! it's not always about winning but it's about the experience that you'll get. don't say things that will bring you down even more, ok?
xoxo,
Audrey
i was happy because i met my friends, and chit-chat over things. and also beat my friend's argument in today's debate, even though i didn't win the debate but whatever. i felt like winning.
i was kinda disappointed because my dad wouldn't let me travel abroad by myself and the fact that i'm such a crybaby and still being my daddy's little girl and not having any courage to convince him that i can do things on my own. i felt touched when my uncle kinda support me and i cried my feelings out. Secretly. (Shit, i'm crying as i write this.)
and the last, i was mad because of certain things. the fact that people who were always nice to me secretly talked behind moi. i actually ok with that but it was kinda awkward to be with them. and also, my history teacher (again). he gave us - me! - a lot of assignment! mind map, another mind map, making some kind of flash cards, and then summaries. i just can't stand it anymore, like really. i swore a lot as i got home this afternoon, sorry about that sir.
and today's monday. so, it's 7 days to go until i fly to Jakarta to participate on Binus' 2014 AEO! exciting, huh? to all my fellow friends, especially the ones who join speech; be confident with your ability. you've practiced and tried your best, so i know you can do this thing! it's not always about winning but it's about the experience that you'll get. don't say things that will bring you down even more, ok?
xoxo,
Audrey
Sunday, February 9, 2014
Munch Munch Munch - Happy Birthday!
Today I was invited by a friend to her birthday lunch (?) and we were eating pizza and stuff and I ate a lot! Hahahah sorry about that but I hadnt eaten anything before the lunch. And also by the time i arrived at the mall i realized i hadnt bought anything for the present so I bought it first and came to my friend at Pizza Hut, lol 😁 (A little spoiler for that, sis)
Her name is Nida and she's 16 now! Happy birthday! Wish u all the best, thankyou for treating 4 of us (Amel, Icha, Leony, and moi) and sorry for eating too much! 😚🎂🎉
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